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Jeff Fry
  - Joined on 07-30-2006
- Lichfield, UK
- Posts 237
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18C Truth Encounter - How to Forgive
18c Truth Encounter - How to Forgive
by Jeff Fry based on "Freedom in Christ" by Neil Anderson Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
I. Intro - The Testimony of Pope John Paul II
A. When a person is wronged or offended what is the natural reaction of that person?
B. Would you agree that when a person is wronged the natural reaction is to get your own back. Revenge is most often our first thought.
C. Just after Christmas, 1983, Pope John Paul II visited Mehmet Ali Agca, the man who 30 months earlier had shot him in St. Peter's Square. In the 21 minutes he spent with him the pope presented Agca with a silver rosary, and something else as well: his forgiveness.
D. Ephesians 4:32 says, " Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
E. Forgiveness is a big topic in the NT. The root word occurs 19 times in the New Testament. And the concept occurs even more than that.
F. But the NT goes a step further than just talking about it and requires us to forgive others as Christ forgave us.
G. So, how do we forgive someone? The answer is: Just as Christ forgave us.
II. Forgiving is not bringing up the past against someone
A. State
1. Forgiveness is ….
a) … forgiving as Christ did. How has Christ forgiven you? In what ways? - Q&A with the audience
(1) unconditionally (without conditions upon which the forgiveness depends - ie. you don't have to earn it) (see Romans 5:8)
(a) myth: if they do this then I'll forgive them
(2) freely - no price to pay (Ephesians 2:8-9)
(a) myth: they can earn it by doing this
(3) without discrimination - He does not discriminate based on race , age, sex, etc) (Galatians 3:28)
(a) myth: I'm not going to forgive THAT person. They are scum. They are the exception. Surely God doesn't expect me to forgive someone like that.
(4) without regard of the severity of the offense (Mark 3:27-29)
(a) myth: that was just too hurtful to forgive.
(5) totally - all of the offense is forgiven, not just part of it. (1John 1:7)
(a) myth: God's done his half and now I have to do my half (some type of penance) and then I'll be forgiven
(6) forever - the forgiveness is given once and for all (he will not bring it up against you later on) (Hebrews 10:10)
(a) myth: I'll forgive them today , but later the feelings will come again and I'll be angry with them again.
2. Forgiveness is not ….
a) seeking revenge
(1) Romans 12:19 says, " Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
(2) We must trust in God's justice - that in the end he will see that justice is done.
(3) This is why forgiving someone else requires faith - trust in God's word that He will handle dishing out punishment for wrong, not you.
(4) This is grounded in God's character as a just God.
b) conding the offense/wrong
(1) Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that you tolerate the wrong/offense which they carried out against you.
c) forgetting
(1) Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you have to forget about the offense or wrong done to you (denial), but you do have to forgive.
3. "forgive" in the NT means "to cancel or do away with a wrong done to one" or "to pardon a wrong done to one".
a) Colossians 2:13-14 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.
4. We must release the anger we have toward the person and give it to God, for the particular offense/wrong forever, not bringing it up against them again. It doesn't necessarily mean forgetting, but it does mean not bringing it up against that person again.
B. Illustrate
1. When a person knows that they are departing this world, then they say what is most important to them. One of the last things Jesus said was in Luke 24:47
a) Luke 24:47 (the end of Luke) "and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem."
b) This was the message his people were to bring to the world - your sins can be forgiven in Jesus. We have a God of forgiveness.
c) And we must walk the talk. If this is our message, we must live that message as best we can by the power of the Holy Spirit. How hypocritical it would be if we were to share with people a message of forgiveness, yet our life was marked by continual bitterness and unforgiveness at every turn.
(1) We are not called to be perfect, but we are called to be striving by the power of the Spirit.
2. Not to forgive someone is like taking the poison yourself and expecting the other person to die!A Parable on ForgivenessSubmitted by Jean Pierce, Larry's sister.Author unknown.Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work" the man said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?" "Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence -- an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place anymore. That'll show him." The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you." The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide. His jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge -- a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all -- and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched. "You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done." The two brothers met at the middle of the bridge, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother. "I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but I have so many more bridges to build."
3. So
C. Apply
1. Our community here in church is a learning community. There will be times when the Lord gives us the opportunity to practice the forgiveness we've just learned about. Please forgive and don't shrink back from it. We must learn to forgive each other or our witness for Christ will be nullified and we will be no better than the world. By the power of the Spirit may we learn to do this.
2. So, let's forgive and let ourselves live!
III. Conclusion
A. Do you agree with the following quote?
1. "When I talk about forgiveness, I mean letting go, not excusing the other person or reconciling with them or condoning the behavior," says Ornish. "Just letting go of your own suffering." ("Forgive and Let Live", Newsweek, Oct 4, 2004)
B. According to Lewis and Adler of Newsweek, research on unforgiveness shows that holding a grudge can lead to "increased blood pressure and hormonal changes -- linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and, possibly, impaired neurological function and memory." ("Forgive and Let Live", Newsweek, Oct 4, 2004)
1. What do you think are some of the signs of anger or unforgiveness in a person's life? How can you tell if you have unforgiveness issues?
C. Do you agree with the following quote and what Scripture would you cite to back up the truth or falsity of this statement?
1. "Anger has its place in the panoply of human emotions, but it shouldn't become a way of life."
I encourage you as an exercise in forgiveness to think back over your past life starting with your childhood up to the present and make a note of any wrongs or offenses that you remember and that are still fresh. Practice forgiveness by making a decision to forgive them now. You can do this through prayer using a simple prayer like the following:
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for your great sacrifice on the cross which bought me forgiveness of sins. I know you want me to forgive others like you have forgivens me. Therefore, I decide right now to forgive ________________ (name of person) for ____________________________________ (offence) . By the power of your Holy Spirit which lives in me as a Christian, I promise never to bring up this offence against them again. I hand over any feelings of revenge and desire for punishment to You God. Amen.
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