21b - Relating to Others - Getting the Balance Right

Jeff Fry — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:08:04 GMT

Truth Encounter 22 - Relating to Others: Getting the Balance Right

by Jeff Fry based on Neil Anderson's "Freedom in Christ Course"

Hebrews 12:5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, ⁶because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." ⁷Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? ⁸If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. ⁹Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! ¹⁰Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. ¹²Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³"Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. ¹⁴Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. ^NIVEphesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ²"Honor your father and mother"-- which is the first commandment with a promise-- ³"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." ⁴Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. ^BTPEphesians 6:1 Dzieci, bądźcie posłuszne w Panu waszym rodzicom, bo to jest sprawiedliwe. ²Czcij ojca twego i matkę - jest to pierwsze przykazanie z obietnicą - ³aby ci było dobrze i abyś był długowieczny na ziemi. ⁴A wy, ojcowie, nie pobudzajcie do gniewu waszych dzieci, lecz wychowujcie je stosując karcenie i napominanie Pańskie! Thesis: Discipline yes, condemnation & punishment no!

I. Intro

A. Last Week

1. We looked at two Scripture passages:

a) Galatians 6:1 said that we should restore the brother caught in a sin

b) But Matthew 7:1-2 says that we should not judge.

2. We said that the two extreme reactions we can have to someone caught in sin are:

a) Ignore the person's sin

(1) License

(2) Against Galatians 6:1

b) Punish/condemn the person

(1) (judgmentalism of Matthew 7:1)

(2) Against Matthew 7:1

(3) "the 'judge not' of Mt. 7:1 is not a requirement to be blind, but a plea to be generous" (Carson, The Expository Bible Commentary, Matthew, p184).

3. So, what is the right reaction?

B. This Week

1. WE will examine three passages to see if we can extract the answer to this.

II. Discipline yes, condemnation no

A. State

1. Discipline of the Lord - Hebrews 12:5-14

a) Background to Hebrews

(1) The Christians to whom this letter was written were undergoing difficult times, hardships, and persecution. Some were losing their faith in light of it.

(2) they were wondering if faith in Christ was worth all trouble and difficulties

(3) they were surely wondering whether God was really good

(4) they were probably questioning whether God had not abandoned them or still loved them

b) Hardships, persecutions, difficulties

(1) Seen as something good and right (seen as the discipline of the Lord)

(2) The positive side - what is the positive side of these hardships?

(a) The hardships and persecutions from sinful men are to be seen as the Lord's discipline.

(b) Does not ignore the need (for correction, growth, strengthening) like license does

(c) Does not involve senseless punishment or condemnation which harms people rather than hurts them.

(d) They had forgotten that hardship is the sign of the Lord's discipline. It was the mark of true sonship, true adoption into God's family (Hebrews 12:5-6). It means that they are legitimate sons.

(e) It means that God loves them as true sons (Hebrews 12:6)

(f) the hardship and discipline is for our good (Hebrews 12:10).

(g) The results of this discipline are:

(i) something good (v.10)(ii) makes us more holy (v.10)(iii) righteousness (v.11)(iv) peace (v.11)(v) strength in the inner man in the face of hardships (a) these Christians were at a crossroads - they could lose faith or gain faith (become stronger). "You all, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees"(v.12)(b) whatever happened it would have an impact on other Christians around them (v. 13 "so that the lame … would be healed")(c) character

c)

2. Do not anger your children - Ephesians 6:1-4

B. Illustrate

C. Apply

1. What is the difference between this type of discipline in Hebrews 12:5-14 and punishment?

2. If you caught your son lying which would be the best way to tell him - by saying:

a) "You are a liar!" or

b) "You just said something untrue". Why?

3. How could true, Godly discipline be good for him?

a) Is this discipline in contradiction with Ephesians 6:4?

(1) ^NIVEphesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² "Honor your father and mother"-- which is the first commandment with a promise-- ³ "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." ⁴ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

(a) exasperate = parorgiw/; provoke to anger, exasperate, make angry

(b) "training" = (Gk. padeia) "training, instruction, discipline " which is the same word translated "discipline" (Gk. padeia) all throughout the passage in Hebrews 12:5-14

(2) In parallel passage Colossians 3:21 the word used is "embitter"

(a) "Fathers do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged" (Col. 3:21)

(b) evreqi,zw 1aor. hvre,qisa; arouse, excite, kindle; in a bad sense make resentful, irritate, rouse to anger (CO 3.21); in a good sense incite, stimulate (2C 9.2)

(3) The common denominator - don't anger your children

(a) in these two passages in Colossians 3:21 and Ephesians 6:4 is the idea of do not provoke your children to anger. Anger is in both definitions of "embitter" and "exasperate".

(b) Earlier in Ephesians 4:27 there was a warning about anger being a doorway for the devil to get into one's life.

b) What ways have you found to discipline a child without provoking them to anger?