Sink or Swim?

By Jeff Fry adapted from "If you want to walk on water …" by John Ortberg

Matthew 14:26-33

²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. ²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." ²⁸ "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." ²⁹ "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" ³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

Thesis: We should respond to failure by embracing it.

I.       Intro

A.   Isn't it interesting that toddlers never tire of failure.  They toddle for a while and fall down.  Then they get back up and toddle a little more and fall down.  And again.  You don't see a toddler stop and say, "That wasn’t too good.  I didn't make it to my destination like I'd planned.  Well maybe I'd better stop toddling.  At least that way nobody will see me fall.  It could get embarrassing all this failure"!  Children are happy to experience failure on the way to learning how to walk.  They expect it!  Yet, in the adult world you see the influence of failure everywhere.   

1.     the work-aholic who believes that he is only as good as his achievements.

2.     the under-achiever who is paralyzed by the thought of failure and so never risks anything

B.   And so we continue our series about stepping out of our comfort zone and living by faith.

C.   This week we will explore further verse 30 and specifically the idea of failure.  In v.30 we find the phrase "beginning to sink" to describe that at a particular point in Peter's walking on water when things went pear-shaped.  He took his eyes off Jesus, saw the wind, and doubted if he would make it.  His goal of walking out to Jesus went badly wrong and he would have sunk if it had not been for Jesus' saving reach.

D.   Because of his doubt Peter failed to reach Jesus.  Jesus gently notes Peter's failure to maintain his faith.  Jesus pinpoints the area of failure so that Peter can learn from it and grow.  He doesn't do it in order to discourage Peter.  God never discourages  just to discourage.  He points this out so that Peter can learn and grow.

E.   And we have to ask: how should we best respond to our failures?

1.     We will all fail or have failed.  The question is how do you respond to failure. 

a)    Does it become a goad to push you on to new learning and growth?  To make you dig deeper and more determined? 

b)     Or does it defeat you producing a sense of discouragement, a loss of hope, a desire to hide, a secret resolve to never again get out of the boat.

II.    We should respond to failure by embracing it

A.   State

1.     One person in Scripture who experienced great successes and great failures was David.  One of his great failures was when he and his band of outcast men who lived in a kind of refugee community in a village called Ziklag returned from a raiding trip to find their village sacked.  Their wives and children had been carried off.  1 Samuel 30:4 says they raised their voices and wept "until they had no more strength to weep".

2.     Then it got worse.  David's men became angry at David for what had happened.  1Samuel 30:6 says that they wanted to stone him.  It said, "David was in great danger; for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in spirit for their sons and daughters".

3.     Then the Scripture says an amazing thing: "But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God" (1Samuel 30:6)

4.     How did David do this?  What did it consist of?

a)    David writes about one of the lowest times in his life when he was defeated and on the run from the king of Israel, Saul.  David's army had been taken away from him, his job was stripped away, his dignity had been taken also by the king who had made him an enemy for no good reason.  David had nowhere he could go that Saul would not find him so he retreated to the cave of Addullam.  In Psalm 142 he writes about this time. The superscription for the Psalm says, "A Maskil of David.  When he was in the cave".

b)    This psalm says that the first thing David did was to honestly face and name his discouragement. 

(1)  "I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. ² I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble." (Psalm 142:1-2)

(2)  Can you complain?  If you are able to complain then you can take this step.

(3)  There are 150 Psalms in the Bible.  There are different categories of the type of psalms - eg.

(a)    Psalms of thanksgiving

(b)   Psalms of wisdom

(c)    Psalms of enthronement

(d)   Psalms of lament  - greates number of psalms are psalms of lament!

(4)  God encourages us to complain!  Why?  So that we would embrace our pain and failure instead of run away from it or bury it.

(5)  By embracing our pain and failure we can then learn and grow from it.  God does some of his best work through pain and failure.  I greatly respect those people who have the courage to look at their pain and failure in the face and say, "What is God trying to tell me through this"?

B.   Illustrate

1.     I remember when I was a young teenager growing up in America.  I played on a basketball team.  The team was an official organized team, but a team for those who couldn't really play in the big league.  It was a step down from the high school team.  It was the town team which was secondary.  The high school team was paramount . they have the following of the whole school .  All the students and even some of the parents came out to see them play.  They only took the best players because much was on the line.  There would be All-State Championship for the best teams.  I had no chance of making that team.  So I played for the town team.  Nobody really came to see our games except for relatives - Moms and Dads and maybe good friends.  And I remember that when the team voted for captain of the team I was voted as the top vote-getter.  But I failed to receive the title.  When offered it I hesitated and finally refused it giving over to the next nearest vote-getter.  I had failed to serve my team when they really needed me.

a)    But my biggest failure was not that I refused to become captain. It was that I buried the pain of not becoming captain instead of embracing it and learning from it and growing. 

b)    I could have learned a lot about myself if I had lamented over that ala Psalm 142.  I could have learned that:

(1)  The tape going around in my head from my upbringing that said that I am only as good as my achievements was wrong.  I thought it was all based on achievement and failed to see the character side of it.

(2)  Eventually I could have learned that self-worth isn't based on achievement, but is based on the unconditional love of one's creator for you.

(3)  I didn't believe in myself and so I was afraid that if I became captain that I couldn't live up to the title.

(4)  Failing doesn't mean that you are a failure.  It just means you are learning.

c)     The lessons I could've learned would have saved me from further discouragement, further failure in the future, but instead I buried them.  I hid from them.  I stayed in the boat.  I stayed in my comfort zone.  And it cost me.

(1)  I didn't grow

(2)  I stagnated

(3)  I stayed the same.

(4)  Nothing changed.

(5)  The same problems persisted in my life

(6)  I didn't heal

(7)  I didn't move on.

(8)  My character stayed infantile

2.     One of the "caves of failure" my wife and I experienced was when we wanted to start a family and could not.  It's easy in these times to think

a)    It's easy in times like these to think

(1)  God has forgotten about me

(2)  God doesn't love me anymore

(3)  God has abandoned me

b)    But God does some of his best work in caves, in times of discouragement, disillusion, disappointment, failure.  In these times, if we let Him, God will re-create us anew, remold us and reshape us into the new creations he meant us to be.  And we need each others' help in this.  This is why we have the church and live in a Christian community with others who can hold us accountable, pray for us, encourage us.

c)     Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

C.   Apply

1.     Have you experienced the pain of failure lately? 

a)    Parental failure - your children aren't turning out the way you had hoped they would

b)    Relational failure - relationships all around you seem to be crumbling.  Bad feelings, the silent treatment and sometimes even outright attacks.

c)     Financial failure - you have more outgoings than you have incomings and the bills aren't getting paid.  You've gone into debt and you feel like you will never get out of it.

d)    Marital failure - your relationship with your spouse has dwindled to an exchange of a few words a day - just the necessities to keep things running.  And you wonder where has the initial love for each other gone.

e)     Spiritual failure - you deny Christ under peer pressure or you keep giving in to temptation in a particular area.  Peter's denial of Christ was an example of spiritual failure.

f)      Vocational failure - someone else was chosen for the job you really wanted:

(1)  I remember in one of my first interviews after graduation from university.  A high-tech company was setting up a huge new office.  They brought a large group of graduates in for an open-house interview day and the first thing they did was they sat us all down for a multiple choice test.  Later that day I was called in for an interview with one department.  But during the interview an envelope was delivered which was obviously my test results.  I was then thanked very much for the interview and I received my "dear Jeff  we are sorry to inform you" letter soon thereafter!  I didn't let it defeat me or discourage me.  I kept applying.  God's vocational  plan for me came to fruition and I received an offer from another high-tech company right across the street from my dream company!  

2.     And this is the greater question is: How have you responded to your failure?

a)    Have you embraced it and lamented like David did allowing it to pinpoint an area in your life which needs redeeming which only Christ can do -not an area in the OTHER person's life but YOUR life.

b)    Are you allowing it to galvanize you and move you to take action instead of defeat you? 

III.  Conclusion

A.   One more thing that should be said is that failure and pain were never meant to be dealt with in isolation.  That's why I said before that the church, the gathering of believers, plays its part in healing and growth.

B.   A scene from "Amazing Grace" shows a powerful depiction of what the body of Christ should be like - giving life through encouraging one another as opposed to discouraging one another.

C.   Show media clip

D.   Words can either bring life or they can bring death.  If you don't think so, just listen to the power the mouth has when in the hand of wicked men:

1.     Proverbs 11:11 Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.

2.     Words are powerful.  We must use them for the good.

3.     If we use them to gossip and tear one another down then we are defying God.

a)    If you are going to say something negative about someone then its best that they are present when you say it.

b)    If you think to yourself - "well I wouldn't want them to hear it" then you shouldn't say it to anyone else.  How does that help?

4.     Let's commit together to use our words to encourage one another, build up one another and bring life to one another and not waste time and breath tearing one another down.

E.   Prayer and Commitment to Encourage not Discourage

1.     I'd like to ask those of you who are willing to encourage with your words and not to discourage to come up front and stand here with me as I pray for this.

2.     If negative words can destroy a city, they can destroy a church.

For questions, comments or further discussion contact:

Darwin Park Community Church

jeff@darwin-park-community-church.org.uk