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jeff
  - Joined on 09-08-2006
- Lichfield, UK
- Posts 54
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Biblical Manhood and Womanhood in Everyday Life
Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Meaningful for Marriage/Relationships?
by Jeff Fry
Genesis 3:16-19
16 To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain 1in childbirth, In pain you will abring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And bhe will rule over you." 17 Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; aCursed is the ground because of you; bIn 1toil you will eat of it All the days of your life. 18 "Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the 1plants of the field; 19 By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you areturn to the ground, Because bfrom it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return."
16 Do niewiasty powiedzia³: «Obarczê ciê niezmiernie wielkim trudem twej brzemiennoœci, w bólu bêdziesz rodzi³a dzieci, ku twemu mê¿owi bêdziesz kierowa³a swe pragnienia, on zaœ bêdzie panowa³ nad tob¹». 17 Do mê¿czyzny zaœ Bóg rzek³: «Poniewa¿ pos³ucha³eœ swej ¿ony i zjad³eœ z drzewa, co do którego da³em ci rozkaz w s³owach: Nie bêdziesz z niego jeœæ - przeklêta niech bêdzie ziemia z twego powodu: w trudzie bêdziesz zdobywa³ od niej po¿ywienie dla siebie po wszystkie dni twego ¿ycia. 18 Cierñ i oset bêdzie ci ona rodzi³a, a przecie¿ pokarmem twym s¹ p³ody roli. 19 W pocie wiêc oblicza twego bêdziesz musia³ zdobywaæ po¿ywienie, póki nie wrócisz do ziemi, z której zosta³eœ wziêty; bo prochem jesteœ i w proch siê obrócisz!»
Thesis: We should apply God-given roles to our marriages and relationships.
Intro
In the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" Maria Portokalos assures her daughter, Toula, that she can change her husband's mind about allowing Toula to go to college and leave the family business: "The man is the head, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head anyway she wants."
We have seen that men and women are equal in the eyes of God in personhood and salvation. Each are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) unlike any other creature created by God. Also, for men and women who have received Christ into their life, the blessings of salvation fall equally on both men and women (Galatians 3:28). Neither has a more privileged position than the other in the eyes of God.
Yet, we have seen from God's word that men and women are given different roles in order to fulfil the creation mandate given them by God.
The question now is : how can we carry out our Biblical roles in everyday life situations? Let's take marriage for instance.
The Woman as homemaker and the man as breadwinner
State
It is important to know that even before the fall the distinctive roles of men and women were indicated by God.
First, the creation order: man was created first (Genesis 2:7), then woman who was created out of man (Genesis 2:21-22)
Genesis 2:18 says that the woman was created as a "helper" to man
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."(Genesis 2:18)
Her roles is to come alongside and help the man.
So, this is the role the man and the woman had before the fall. The man didn't become head because of the fall like some feminists declare.
Now, what is the creation mandate?
The creation mandate or purpose which is given the man and woman by God is as follows:
Genesis 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
"Be fruitful and increase in number" is a command and this is what the man and woman were supposed to do (a mandate).
Now when the fall came, it tainted this mandate. It warped and distorted God's design for being fruitful. The warping and tainting are described in the Bible like this:
The effect of sin on the Woman's role: Genesis 3:;16 says,
To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."
Now this is how sin effected the woman, because this was the woman's role - to bear children and care for them.
The effect of sin on the Man's role: Genesis 3:17ff says,
Genesis 3:17-19 " To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."
Now this is how sin effected the man because this is what the man's role was - to be the breadwinner.
So what is implied by this is that the man and woman while equal in worth and personhood, each have God-ordained roles to fulfil in life together as husband and wife.
The man mainly has the responsibility to provide food, clothing and shelter for his family.
the man must not sit passively by and skirt his duty to work to provide for the family.
The woman mainly has the responsibility for child-bearing and upbringing.
She must not attempt to forge for herself a career as the main breadwinner of the family in order to define herself or build-up her self-worth.
Her great worth comes from her fulfilling the worthy role God has created for her - to bear and bring up the children.
Paul says in 1Timothy 5:14 " Therefore, I want younger widows to get amarried, bear children, bkeep house, and cgive the enemy no occasion for reproach;
And Titus 2:4-5 he says, " Then they [older women] can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Let me just say very quickly that there are sometimes exceptions to this in that there may be situations which preclude such roles being fulfilled. For example, disabling sickness may prevent the male from being able to go out and get a job.
Also, there may be a temporary amount of time when the male is off work and looking for work until he finds it.
Additionally it should be noted that the Bible does not prohibit women from working and earning a wage if it is done in order to provide for her family - a way in which she cares for her children.
Proverbs 31:10-31 shows a woman whose care for her family extends beyond just keeping house. It says in verse 16 and 24 it says, "She considers a field and buys it … she plants a vineyard … She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesman". Since we know that "Scripture interprets Scripture" we know that this doesn't contradict Paul, it just qualifies Paul. Work doesn't have to conflict with the woman's work at keeping house.
So the woman who works must ask this:
Is my work beneficial to my family?
Does it aid my husband in his calling?
Can I do it while still being faithful to my primary calling to be wife and mother and to care for my home?
The decision must be made together with the husband as the head of the wife and as the one responsible for the leadership of the family.
Apply
The roles of a husband and wife in a marriage are important in today's society because they are coming under attack. More and more couples are cohabiting without marriage. I believe that this is because of convenience. We want a relationship with the opposite sex without the commitment to them. We want the marriage without the responsibility of our God-given roles as man and woman. But we are finding that when these distinctive emphases are not maintained, "marriage relationships" (whether traditional or co-habiting relationships) and families breakdown. Husband and wife are no longer dependent on one another but are increasingly independent, they are ready to go their own way.
A recent article in the "Times" entitled "Give Marriages An Expiry Date" cited some interesting information. It said,
" The Office for National Statistics (ONS) released figures last week, collated from six years’ worth of government data on family life, which showed: that couples who cohabit are dramatically on the rise; that their children do less well at school, leave education earlier and have a higher risk of developing a serious illness; and that children thrive if their parents are married."
God hasn't setdown roles for husband and wife to make our lives miserable, but to save us a lot of heartache.
Conclusion
In a Talk magazine interview, movie star Nicole Kidman, recently divorced from superstar Tom Cruise, talks about the sacrifices a mother and wife must make:
"It's tough being a woman and having kids and working, definitely. I see people who say, "Oh yeah, I'm doing it all"forget it. Something is going to giveusually when you are just really, really tired. I only work now if I really feel it's worth it. And I have to say no to things I really love because it's just not the right time. Sure, you could try to do it all and try to take all the roles you want, but you wouldn't know your kids and you wouldn't know your marriage. I think that's a big thing. Distance destroys relationships. It just does."
What roles we take in our marriages, how we make decisions, how children are cared for in our homes are all influenced by our God-given roles.
Biblical roles are not shown to us in the Bible to make our lives miserable. They are God-given to make our lives fulfilling. Who knows better how life ought to work than the author of life.
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